Cherishing My Broken Heart

I’ve been following astrology more lately. I’ll be honest, it’s always seemed a little far out to me, yet I’ve always been curious. As I pay more attention to moon and planet cycles, however, I’ve noticed several times where planetary movement really resonates with the path I’m walking. For example, this October sees me ending one 12-year cycle and shifting into a brand new one, brought to me by Jupiter, the planet of expansion. As I think back to what I was doing in the Fall of 2005 when this latest cycle began, I can completely see what this cycle was asking me to work on expanding.

In October 2005, I took my first steps on my own healing journey. It taught me to expand my heart until it broke and then to learn how to live with that broken heart. Painful? So unbelievably painful that at times I was sure I would not survive it. But I did. I was driving to work the other day and I felt so buoyant and light and happy. For no particular reason. Just because I have learned how to live with a broken heart that allows me to carry pain and burdens lightly.

I had always thought of a broken heart as a bad thing to be avoided. So I did avoid it, by keeping my heart closed off to everyone. I was emotionally numb and lonely and had nothing that I really wanted in life. My journey over the past 12 years has introduced me to amazing people and given me experiences that I never knew I wanted but were exactly what I needed to break my heart wide open (despite my very best efforts to the contrary!). I cherish my broken heart and I’m making the choice not to mend it. You say, “What? You must be a glutton for punishment!” No, I’m not, and I’ll explain why!

A few weeks ago, I was walking my dog in my favorite spot in the abandoned quarry down the road from my house. I suddenly noticed a stone that had been cracked in half. The outside was pretty unremarkable and if it hadn’t been broken, I never would have even looked twice at it. But the inside! The inside was gorgeous! There was a rainbow of different colors inside that captured my attention. I picked up the broken pieces of stone to take home with me (I have a bit of a rock addiction!) and suddenly grasped the main lesson that I’ve been trying to embody on my own healing journey. The broken rock was a symbol of my heart and my true self. With my heart in one closed piece, so only the surface shows, I blend in with everybody else and am pretty unremarkable. But with my heart broken open, everybody gets to see the rainbow of colors that make up who I truly am on the inside. Only with that heart broken wide to show off my colors, can I bring any true healing, abundance, IMPACT to this world. From that perspective, why the hell would I want to mend it?!

To You: When you have the chance to break your heart wide open, DO IT! Marvel at the remarkable colors that live there. Join me in cherishing, living and loving with your broken heart!

To Jupiter: Bring on the next cycle of expansion. I’m ready to see what I learn this time around!

Love, Jen

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